Wine and Chocolate Pairing is a Taste You Must Experience

21 Aug

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Nothing makes taste buds cheer as much as a harmonious food and drink pairing – one of the most famous being the simple yet decadent combination of wine and chocolate. The union of these two indulgences is a delicate balancing act between the sweet velvety textures of chocolate and earthy yet complex flavors of wines.  If not paired well, the outcome can be potentially disastrous. Even though the pairing of chocolate and wine is synonymous, there is no clear-cut way to make each and every match.  Unless you’re a world class sommelier (I am sad to say most of us aren’t) there’s going to probably be a bit of trial and error involved in picking out the perfect combination of wine and chocolate (which if you ask us isn’t necessarily a terrible thing).  We can certainly think of worse pairings.  Ultimately, you should always keep your own personal taste preferences in mind but here are a few tips to help you in your search for the perfect pairing:

  • The wine should be either of equal sweetness or greater than the chocolate. You don’t want to overwhelm your senses in a negative way.
  • Like goes with like. Have a wine with nutty notes and a chocolate with nutty notes. They are probably complimentary. Likewise, dark chocolate pairs well with dark wine (dark wine being a vibrant, rich, and heavy flavor).
  • Start with the sweetest chocolates and wines and pair down to dark when tasting wine and chocolate.
  • Pay attention to the tannins in the wine when pairing. Aim for soft and round tannins that produce a smooth drinkability. They will taste better with chocolate as opposed to a wine with harsh tannins.

The more knowledge you have about the tastes of certain chocolates and wines, the better you will be able to pair them together. Curious as to what pairings are recommended? Check out how these stack up:

  • White chocolate goes well with sweet and fruity wines like Riesling, Sherry, and Orange Muscat. Sparkling wines are a good match for white chocolate as well. White chocolate is technically not a true chocolate because it has no actual cocoa and gets its smooth flavor from milk solids and cocoa butter. Vanilla, honey, butterscotch, and caramel are common additives. It’s smooth and rich combination makes it an attractive companion to lighter wines.
  • Sweet milk chocolate pairs well with wines that have a medium to light body. Moscato, Ruby Port, and Riesling are a few popular pairings. Milk chocolate has a higher amount of milk and sugar when compared to its cocoa content, resulting in a softer chocolate. Typically, there will be less than 40% cocoa solids. Pairing this with similarly sweet wines is considered complimentary.
  • Dark chocolate is considered to be the match for dry, red wines with full to medium bodies. The strength from the two meshes extremely well together. Instead of overpowering one another, they work to bring out their individual flavors that may be missed when not consumed together. Dark chocolate is typically described as bitter with little sweetness because it has a cocoa content range of  60%-100% cocoa.  Most dark chocolates dwell within the 60%-80% range where the cocoa remains somewhat sweet and palatable for most.  However, all dark chocolates generally pair well with both medium and full-bodied red wines. Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, and Malbec are considered excellent options.

As with all food and drink combinations, it depends on your palette and individual preferences; however, we encourage you to try all of the suggested pairings (perhaps not all in one sitting though) to experience the different types of flavors! Does all this talk of complimentary foods have you wanting to indulge in your own chocolate and wine pairing? Try pairing Emily’s Chocolates with all of your favorite wines and let us know what your favorite pairings are in the comment section below!

I Don’t Fit In A Christmas Gift Basket

21 Dec

I love Christmas so much that I wish I could tour all of my relative’s houses and spend Christmas with all of them. There are a couple of things holding me back from doing this.

  1. I can’t wake up that early.
  2. My holiday nightgown makes me look like a big fabric Christmas tree that scares small children (mine are used to it).
  3. The antlers on my fuzzy Christmas slippers would probably get caught under the accelerator pedal and cause a horrible accident.

However, aside from showing up personally, I have found a great solution, Emily’s gift baskets!

Emily’s Gift Baskets…Even Santa’s Jealous!

We’re counting down the days to Christmas and crunch time is here. Suddenly finding a gift that says, “Hey you…yeah you…you’re awesome!” becomes a daunting task without buying something large and impractical like a giant stuffed panda bear (the international symbol for awesomeness).

Some of the featured items in the gift baskets are the things you love all year round and some of favorites for the holidays with adorable snowmen right there on the package. Each has a little surprise tea from Teaosophy, because there’s nothing better than enjoying something warm with your chocolate during the holidays.

The Good FortuneIf good luck for the New Year came in a basket, this is what it would look like. Sure, you could read the lines in a person’s palm, but if you see Emily’s chocolate and nuts in that palm, you know that at least the immediate future is looking bright! But even after the items in the basket are gone, the recipient will have lasting good feelings about you, so it’s good fortune for everyone.

The FamilyWhen the kids were babies I used to be able to retrieve packages at the door and do what I call “Hi-Hi” (hide it and hoard it). Now I work, so if an Emily’s gift basket comes in the mail for Christmas, I have to share it, and *POOF*, it disappears. Well, with The Family Gift Basket, I don’t have to worry about that. There’s enough great stuff that everyone gets lots of what they like. No more Hi-Hi. I suppose it’s for the best; I was tired of eating in the garage.

The DeluxeChristmas is a season for giving, but honestly, the receiving part is pretty cool too. That’s why people love The Deluxe Gift Basket, because they can use some of the items for guests and parties and STILL have some leftover for themselves. Large quantities of delectable items are what gift baskets should be. Warning: When your loved one or business colleague sees this they’re going to run through the streets yelling “Merry Christmas!”

The Delivery Man is Comin’ to Town!

You can still get Emily’s Gift Baskets to your loved ones and business colleagues. Christmas gifts set the tone for the whole winter. Sure, snow tires might qualify, but what’s better than having incredible chocolate and nuts? Nothing, that’s what.

Merry Christmas from the whole Emily’s Chocolates family!!

Breakfast at Emily’s

15 Nov


You know what I love most about weekends? Sure, not working, having all day to do stuff you like, and sleeping in is great, but I look forward to breakfast. During the week I have to be good and eat boring yogurt and bananas. I even had to cut out muffins because I began looking like one, but the weekends are mine to enjoy my favorite meal, breakfast. And what makes breakfast soooooo awesome? Chocolate of course!

As you may have read on this blog before, I HATE being told when I can and can’t eat chocolate. Particularly when people say that it’s not a breakfast food. Since you are reading this, you are probably on my side when I say that I think those people need to be committed in a chocolateless asylum on some island somewhere. That said, I have a couple of great suggestions for how you can enjoy Emily’s chocolates even in the morning.

The “Best Smoothie on the Planet (if the Long Name of This Smoothie Tells You Anything)” Smoothie

If you work out in the morning like I tell people I do, then you need the protein and energy to get through your workout without something heavy bogging you down. This smoothie does the trick and doesn’t taste like you hate your mouth like some green drinks do.

You will need:

Put the ice in first, then the almond milk, and then the peeled banana. Start blending and when your sure stuff isn’t going to shoot out of the top of the blender, take the little plastic cap off of the top and add the chocolate strawberries one by one. Don’t put your fingers in there while the blender is on because finger isn’t part of the recipe.

Drink in front of a mirror so that you can get the full effect. Make sure you leave a mustache…that IS part of the recipe (the panache part).

Emily’s Blueberry Pancakes

These are the types of pancakes that you might expect on mother’s day, but really, you’re better than that. These are Sunday pancakes. Mother’s day pancakes should have a filling that reflects your true fabulousness, like a giant pancake with a car in it. But I digress, these pancakes take the best of what you expect out of blueberry pancakes and chocolate chip pancakes (the two best pancakes out there in my mind) and makes Sunday special.

You will need:

  • 1 Blender
  • 1 ¼ cups milk
  • 2 tbsp cooking oil
  • ½ tsp salt
  • 2 tbsp brown sugar
  • 1 cup all purpose flour
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • Bag of chocolate covered blueberries

Put all of the wet stuff in the blender first (milk, oil, eggs) then blend slowly and add the salt sugar. Mix the flour and baking powder together and add slowly, put top on, and blend at high speed for a few seconds. Let sit for about 2 to 5 minutes while you heat the frying pan or griddle. It will rise a little in the blender.

Heat a pan or griddle and add a little cooking oil so that it coats the surface. Slowly pour pancake mix to avoid splash and to make perfectly round pancakes. Push chocolate blueberries into the mix (five or ten per pancake depending on the size). Once the pancake is nice an brown on one side, flip and cook evenly.

French Café Croissants

Here at Emily’s, we’re not so hoity-toity as to think that we can instruct you on how to make a perfect light and flaky french pastry from scratch. So our version involves cans and hammers.

You will need:

Open the tube and roll out the dough. Pour the two bags of almonds and cashews into the freezer bag and seal. Take the mallet and pound on them softly so that they are about the consistency of fish tank gravel. Pour onto the open roll of pastry. Push it in lightly. Roll back up. Follow directions of portioning and cooking on the package.

It sounds simple because it is, but they come out absolutely great and change the whole dynamic of the pastry to something even classier than normal croissants, which are pretty classy anyway.

Wake Up and Smell the Chocolate

See? Chocolate isn’t just for lunch and dinner and miday and late afternoon and evening snacks anymore. It’s one of those versatile all day foods that deserve to stand alongside the breakfast mainstays like eggs, bacon, and potatoes. Grab a bag and experiment. Send us a recipe and we’ll post it here and totally give you credit. We’ll even put a picture up of the finished recipe if you send us one. We don’t know if anyone famous reads our blog, but maybe they’ll steal it and put it on their cooking show and not give you credit. However, you will have it officially archived right here. Take THAT famous chefs!

Other items we have that you could probably cook with:

Like Monsters For Chocolate

27 Oct

Forget Halloween, when I was a kid I thought there was a monster under my bed all year round. It was a cross between a blob and werewolf…sort of a hairy smooshy type thing with fangs and galoshes (don’t ask me, I was six at the time). One day I told my brother about it and he said he’d check it out. He looked and found nothing. The next night I happily put my nightgown on and started climbing into bed when suddenly the monster grabbed my ankle and started dragging me under the bed. It was horrific. As you might have guessed, the monster was my brother. Though I love him, I have yet to forgive him for that.

Out of this life-altering trauma, even Halloween episodes of the Simpsons freak me out. I came to the conclusion that I cannot stop monsters from getting me without plying them with something that I love, namely, chocolate. Since then I kept a piece of chocolate on my bed stand every night. Of course, as I became older, more mature, and rational I began to realize that not all monsters like the same types of chocolate.

So I did some research and below are the results (note: “data” and “facts” are based on stuff I made up since my research yielded nothing).

What Emily’s Chocolates Protect Against What Monsters?

For a monster, liking chocolate is secondary to their favorite foods consisting primarily of children and 19th century peasants. Since this is the case, it is very lucky for me that I am now a fully grown woman with only a very small chance of dying of the plague. However, there are still monsters to contend with and the key is to know what kind of chocolate they like and, most importantly, have it on hand.

Mummies – Not all Mummies are from ancient Egypt, but the cursed ones are. That’s why it’s important to know what kind of fruits and nuts they had in ancient Egypt. Luckily I do and that’s why I have a bag of chocolate covered cherries and chocolate covered almonds on hand.

How to feed a mummy chocolate: Everything you need to know about mummies is in the movies. I chose the Abbott and Costello for my research and found that mummies A) do not come from under beds, but from the second scariest place in the bedroom – closets — and B) are painfully slow. So my strategy is to let the mummy chase me around the bed a few times, look into the camera comically, and throw a handful of the chocolate into his mouth as he’s letting out his long drawn out mummy moan.

Vampires – If Twilight or Tru Blood has shown us anything, it’s that you don’t run from vampires, you date them. But those aren’t the types of Vampires that are going to visit me or you, nope, it’s the REAL vampires. I’m talking about the scary ones with the cool capes and all of the “blaw-blaw-blaw”-ing. Through my research I found that vampires love chocolate because of the original vampire, the mysterious Count Chocula.

How to feed a vampire chocolate: Count Chocula taught us mortals that they will eat chocolate before they eat you. So my strategy is to feed the next vampire I encounter chocolate covered espresso beans so that they will stay up from all of the caffeine way past their bedtime and burn to death as the sun comes up. Well…that’s the theory anyway…this was well explained in Interview with the Vampire.

Witches – They just need to wiggle their noses to get all of the chocolate they want. If they’re in your closet or under your bed, then they are probably stealing your clothing and shoes.

How to feed a witch chocolate: Give it to them and they won’t cast a curse on you hopefully.

Werewolves – The chances that a werewolf will jump through your window are minuscule since they prefer to hunt in the woods, but keep in mind that they ARE naked howling men, so I wouldn’t put it past them. If this does happen, one thing I know for a fact is that chocolate is to werewolves what kryptonite is to Superman. Why? Because werewolves are dogs and chocolate and dogs don’t mix.

How to feed werewolves chocolate: One thing you need to know is that peanut butter will keep a dog occupied forever. Another thing you need to know is that, like dogs, they’ll eat anything in crunchy cookie form. That’s why I suggest you throw it a chocolate covered peanut butter cookie. Once the thing is done licking the peanut butter from the top of its mouth, it’ll be dead. If the werewolf actually turns out to be your overly-hairy husband then don’t worry, perhaps the peanut butter will keep him from snoring so loudly. We discourage you from trying this on actual dogs, but if they’re crawling through your window, chocolate may be your only defense (that..and running).

Aliens – One of my biggest fears in life is to be abducted by aliens. Particularly those little grey aliens with the big heads and obsidian black eyes. My fear doesn’t come from the fact that they might impregnate me with an alien-human hybrid; I already have one of those, he’s going into third grade this year. I’m not even afraid of a long trip into the emptiness of space. It sounds a lot more relaxing than where we went on vacation last year, Disneyland (the loudest place on Earth). Nope, my fear stems from the fact that I have no idea whether aliens eat chocolate.

How to feed aliens chocolate: Since I have no clues as to how or what kind of chocolate aliens eat, I suggest you use the chocolate to trick them long enough for you to get away. Here’s some suggestions:

  • Take a bunch of chocolate covered strawberries, stick them in the microwave for five seconds until they’re just smooshy enough to form into a ball. Hand the big ball to the alien and say, “This is my brain, you can have it,” then run.
  • Stick a chocolate covered cherry to your sleeping husband’s forehead and yell, “Take him! He’s got a third eye!”
  • Spread a bunch of chocolate blueberries under the window. They’re round. When the aliens climb through they’ll slip because even though they’ve mastered the ability to travel hundreds of light years through space, they most likely can’t overcome a blueberry trap.

Protect Yourself From Monsters This Halloween

I know that the thought of giving monsters chocolate so that they won’t eat your face is somewhat unsavory, but it must be done, because they exist and nothing is going to change that. They also love Halloween because they can blend in and not be noticed, so keep your chocolate close. We care about your safety.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM THE WHOLE EMILY”S FAMILY!

Halloween Chocolate: Can We Please Have Some Choco-Dignity People?

19 Oct

Halloween is near! I…am…so…EXCITED! I totally remember as a little kid getting dressed up like Geraldine Ferraro mixed with my Wonder Woman gold arm bracelets from the costume the year before (for protection) and casting out into the neighborhood with my mom.

I was serious about it too. I carried a pillowcase, no teeny-weeny plastic pumpkin head for me. That gave people the wrong impression. I wanted to fill that whole pillowcase. That’s why I would drag my mom to the undiscovered (for me at least) regions of our neighborhood seeking someone…anyone, with good taste in chocolate. Quantity raised my chances of finding quality. Even as a small child, I had standards.

That’s why I would also hit the mall. In my childhood the local mall had two chocolate shops and they knew me. They would only give out one tiny chocolate, but I savored it. I knew it was better than any mass-produced chocolate (or even worse sucker *shiver*) that entered my pillowcase.

Suckers? Really? Come-on people, show some dignity! How many kids do you get now-a-days, twenty at the most? You give them a 1 oz bag of chocolate covered blueberries and guaranteed the kids will honor your property. Not-only will they NOT desecrate your pumpkins or egg your house, they will create a human shield against those who are considering it.

Have Some Chocolate Mercy, It’s For the Children

If you’re a parent with little kids then you know that it’s hard to predict which child is going to be excited about Halloween, but if you have a “Halloween child” then it quickly becomes one of best times of the year, even better than Christmas in some respects. They get so excited, the costume process starts in September and you can use the Halloween threat of taking it away to control their behavior for a whole two months. It’s awesome. But that effort needs to be rewarded, and great chocolate is part of it.

Dressing up – When kids costume-up, there is some serious fantasy going on. No messing around. Whether he wants to be Iron Man or she wants to be Smurfette, they ARE those things for the next few hours. Don’t fight it. Multitasking the dual efforts of fighting crime and collecting candy takes serious concentration on a child’s part. It should be rewarded by a yummy chocolate fortune cookie at least. It’ll help them learn how to read.

Walking around – I dressed in the mandatory princess outfit one year and wanted to wear high heels. My mom refused. I freaked out. Boys will wear sneakers to bed, so wearing them with a costume it’s not biggy. Princesses, on the other hand, never touched them. Then my mom showed me the pictures of the Princess Di and Prince Charles’ wedding. She told me that Di was wearing sneakers under her dress and that’s what all princesses secretly wore. I believed her. Sure, I’m an idiot, but an idiot with two perfectly good working ankles thanks to her.

Begging – Getting free stuff by going door-to-door and yelling trick or treat is akin to asking for spare change, but there are also huge differences. One, the person asking for spare change isn’t being shadowed 20 feet away by their parents. Two, they don’t (or rarely) dress like a Mutant Ninja Turtle. Three, there’s a pretty good chance that the kid trick or treating this year will be knocking on your door next summer asking to mow your lawn.

Tricks vs. Treats – Treats are great. To me, that’s what it was all about. Sure, dressing up was fantastic, but was definitely more about the treats. However, there’s always that one jerk that puts you on the spot and says “Trick!” So, there you are left standing on their porch floundering like a moron with nothing to give. It’s the worst feeling in the world. So I have prepared my children for that event. You might think I coached them into putting together a little impromptu flash mob type dance or a song or something. WRONG! I imbued them with logic.

My Kids: “Trick or treat!”

Jerk: “Trick. (arrogant snicker)”

My Kids: “Hey, we’re making the requests around here! So if you don’t have a treat, stop wasting our time and show us a trick, and it better be good or we’ll tell everyone you have face cooties!”

Going to the mall – As a kid, Halloween at the mall combined my two favorite things, chocolate and shopping. Most stores had some kind of candy and if they didn’t, for the rest of the year I would remember not to shop there. Call me fickle, but to me, heaven IS chocolate and shopping. If I can eat chocolate and shop for eternity, I’ll put up with painfully sprouting wings, having to learn how to play the harp, and having that glowing halo keeping me up all night. Just as long as there’s chocolate covered almonds. If there aren’t, then I might consider going the reincarnation route.

Empty reactions to crappy costumes – I remember going to doors wearing a fantastic costume and having to walk up to the door with some kid wearing two holes cut in a sheet who just happened to wander up to the house at the same time. I just wanted to yell, “Trick or treat…and I’m not with this kid, I don’t even know who’s under there and I don’t wanna know!” But instead, I gave a half hearted trick or treat because I knew that kid would get the same reaction to his costume as I would to mine regardless of the effort. “Oh you’re both soooo cute!”…oh, save it. Life is not fair.

HAVE A HAPPY AND SAFE HALLOWEEN FROM THE WHOLE EMILY’S FAMILY!!!

Halloween is a celebration of being able to fanaticize and having fun with friends and family. Seeing your kids running around acting crazy is fantastic and something you never forget. The occasion is worthy of celebration by eating excellent chocolate. Give them an Emily’s chocolate before they go out. It might help quell the candy frenzy…then again, maybe not.

Please send us pictures of your kids in their Halloween costumes or you in your Halloween costume and we’ll post them on our blog.

No Tricks Here, Just Treats:

No Romance, No Chocolate, No Service

10 Oct

If you’re anything like me, I don’t think there’s enough romance around this place, and by this place, I mean wherever I am. My husband has the capacity to be romantic. I know, I’ve witnessed it. But it seems he’s been suffering from an early onset of romance dementia lately that’s getting to the point of being terminal. I’d have him committed, but he’s handy with a lawn mower.

I don’t think the problem is a lack of motivation, but a lack of imagination. He has an idea of how to be romantic, but it’s limited. Sort of like how I know that escargot exists and tastes good, but the blissful ignorance of how to prepare it keeps me from the unpleasant business of touching snails. That’s my hubby and romance right there.

As I mentioned, a lack of imagination is part of the problem, but what we want to avoid is my husband thinking to himself, “What would I think was romantic?” The reason is because his idea of romance doesn’t qualify as romantic unless he was romancing one of his drinking buddies (a disturbing thought in itself). First, we need to define things that aren’t romantic in most cases because the process of elimination seems to help clarify things.

Not Romantic

BBQing – Don’t get me wrong, I like BBQ’d food. I also like it when my husband cooks. Neither of those things are a particular turn on to me, they’re more of a pleasant distraction from normality. If you are a man reading this, perhaps ask yourself, “what is my wife’s favorite food?” Answer: chocolate. Then ask, “can I BBQ chocolate?” Answer: of all of the things in this world that are wrong, that’s close to the top.

Golf – Golf is the opposite of romance. I want to wear heels and not sweat when I do romantic things. Lack of heels isn’t a deal breaker, but being all sweaty is. And the tiny car…nothing romantic has ever been arrived to in a tiny electric golf cart.

Love declarations on Jumbotron – As awesome as letting 60,000 people know how much I am loved is, spontaneously showing me on a 20 foot screen holding a brick of curly fries is frankly embarrassing. They say that television adds 10 pounds, but when your head is the size of a minivan, I would say it’s more like 2000 lbs.

Taverns – I don’t like to judge, this is purely a personal preference, but I find quaint wine bars or cozy pubs far more romantic than places with pull-tabs and taxidermy lining the walls. Romance, to me, is a nice glass of wine with some chocolate in a place devoid of men betting on pool and Tom Petty blaring in the background…nothing against Tom Petty…I’m getting in over my head here. Lets move on.

Some Romantic Ideas

Chocolate and dressing up Getting dressed in cute stuff and going someplace nice is the cornerstone of romance. Why? Because I get a chance to look freaking awesome and the guy doesn’t look too shabby either. All you have to do is ask yourself, “where do nicely dressed people go?” Then we go there and eat chocolate at some point. How hard is that?

Chocolate and a show This is the next level of romance. Go see a play or an opera or something. It’s not something you do everyday and there is a ton to talk about afterwards. There’s nothing better than chocolate and a little culture every once in a while…whether we were able to follow the plot or not.

Chocolate and dancing Are you seeing a pattern here? The problem with this one is that it can potentially poop us out before pending activities later and that’s why the chocolate is so crucial, because it gives that vital energy to keep on going. Okay, I have to admit, my husband’s dancing looks more like he’s being attacked by bees rather than moving to music. There is little-to-nothing sexy about it, but I find his intent very stimulating.

Chocolate and a long weekend Running off for the weekend and staying in a little bed and breakfast with a view and some chocolate is the pinnacle of romance. However, if you’re anything like me, there IS such a thing as too much romance. Two days and two nights of straight romance is pretty much my threshold until I start looking in guide books for the local attractions. That’s what makes the weekend tryst so perfect.

The Three Pillars of Romance

1)    Surprise – Surprises denote planning. There is nothing more romantic than planning. Little surprises along the way after the big surprise are even better. And guys, if you made some kind of list, you might want to frame it. I know if my husband made a list, that thing would go up on the wall.

2)    Undivided Attention – That’s right, total focus is a very important part of this whole romance business. Listening, eye contact, and compliments are crucial to the whole experience…and if you’re a guy, you’re probably not even still reading this paragraph, but if you are, congrats.

3)    Chocolate – If chocolate is not involved in the process either in the beginning, during, or at the end, you have absolutely dropped the ball. And to go a little further with the sports analogy, what happens when you drop the ball? You get sidelined and that sideline generally resides in the living room…have fun.

We’ve learned a lot about romance today. This is certainly not a full tome of the subject, just some light perspectives to get the ball rolling. Now it’s time to print out this blog post and set it in the bathroom because if your hubby is anything like mine, that’s a place of learning and reflection. Good luck!

Our pre-romance chocolate suggestions:

When Should I NOT Eat Chocolate?

24 Sep

Do you remember when you were a little kid, sitting in the corner, pouting, glaring at your parents, and thinking, “When I grow up I’m going to eat chocolate all the time.” Perhaps you took it a little further, observed society as a whole, and wondered why all other foods weren’t merely a supplement to chocolate. You did? Okay, see, that’s why we should totally be friends on facebook.

As kindred spirits, then you are like me and get a little irritated when society puts these weird rules on us as to when we’re all supposed to be eating chocolate. We’re adults (for the most part), and can make our own decisions now (most of the time)! No one is going to tell US when we can and can’t eat chocolate. However, like most things, reason gets in the way and there ARE actually times when we cannot/should not eat chocolate.

When Should I NOT Eat Emily’s Chocolate?

When something else is in your mouth – Now, this rule does not apply when there is something in your mouth that would go with chocolate such as fruit, marsh mellows, more chocolate, etc. But to stay alive, you must consume other foods that aren’t so great with chocolate such as salad or BLT sandwiches. Take it from us, if those things were good in your mouth at the same time as chocolate, we would have already covered them and offered them on the website.

When you are choking – If you are choking, 9 out of 10 medical professionals will recommend not eating anything else until you take care of the obstruction (and that 10th medical professional probably didn’t understand the question because you asked it while you were choking). This is a dilemma that many a chocolate lovers experience because, what if you are choking on a piece of chocolate? We understand, but let’s rationalize this: 1) chocolate melts so there’s a chance you could survive until it melts in order not to waste it and 2) chocolate would never do anything to hurt you. Yet, there you are turning blue. We recommend you seek immediate medical attention, because, though eating chocolate has made you feel better in the past, probably not in this instance.

When someone else is eating that same piece of chocolate you feel you should be eating – I know, I know. You’re watching their mouth move. You know the chocolate is in there. Is it fair? No…no it isn’t. But it is what it is. You could tackle them and force them to spit it out, but really, what does that achieve? Yes, chocolate…but is half eaten chocolate really what you want? This doesn’t seem to be getting through. Okay, try not to hurt them.

When the chocolate is evidence in an ongoing investigation – You’re sitting in the jury box and the chocolate is sitting on the evidence table next to the knife, rope, duct tape, and crime scene photos. Boy, does it look good just lying there. You could probably ask the judge to send the evidence into the jury room for “closer examination.” Do you think they’d notice? Maybe if you left half…still…only a bite would mean you’re tampering with evidence. And then there’s the fact that someone’s future could be at stake. But what about YOUR future, i.e., your chocolate future? This is an ethical dilemma that all chocolate lovers must face at one point or another…or not.

The 5 second rule – You have probably heard of the five second rule, but if you haven’t, it is a concept that the faster you retrieve food after it has dropped on the floor, the lower the chance that it will pick up bacteria, generally in about 5 seconds. This idea has since been confirmed, but still, bacteria gets on it and no amount of blowing will adequately clean it. This is when we revisit the benefits of chocolate:

Fact – Bacteria is a oxidant.

Fact – Chocolate is an antioxidant.

See? They cancel each other out. Of course, this depends on the cleanliness of the floor or whether it is a floor at all and actually “the ground.” Yes, the ground is LIKE a floor, but not the same. Also, we all count 5 seconds differently. Some say “thousand” or “Mississippi” between their numbers, but how ever you cut it, you should just leave it there or throw it away. (Yes, it’s perfectly fine to cry over spilled chocolate.)

Sleeping – Sleep experts say that sleeping and eating is a bad idea. However, I have this theory: sleeping with a piece of chocolate slowly melting you my mouth could potentially induce the most awesome dream ever. There are a couple of things holding me back from trying this. One is the thought of having someone watching me while I sleep to make sure I don’t choke, regardless of whether it’s my husband or not, just sort of creeps me out. Another is what it will do the pillowcases. I have old pillow cases that I could try this with, but what if it seeps through? The brown stains on the pillow are just too much for me to handle. Sure, they’re covered with another pillow case, but I’m aware they’re there. I don’t know, it just sounds like a big hassle, but feel free to try it (only under creepy observation).

During a dentist appointment – Dentists generally frown upon their patients eating chocolate during the examination. You’re trying to enjoy a delicious Emily’s chocolate and they’re standing there with their little hooked sprayer thingy, ruining it. Frankly, it’s just rude, am-I-right? So we recommend, instead of fighting it, just leave the chocolate in your purse until they are done with all of the scraping, spraying, and drilling. It’s probably better for your teeth anyway. Well…that’s what we can tell ourselves.

Emily’s Chocolate is Really Great Anytime

We’re not kidding here when we say that there isn’t a moment that isn’t good for Emliy’s chocolate. Think about it, we mentioned some times above, but they’re all just really annoying times, not totally prohibitive (except the choking part, we really mean that one). The next time you are somewhere in a situation that may be “inappropriate” to eat chocolate, try popping a chocolate covered blueberry and see what happens. I’ll tell you what will happen, nothing. But if something does happen, we’re sorry. Being an adult is not all it’s cracked up to be sometimes.

We have lots of yummy stuff:

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